Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Many Poems of Nikolai Tjongarero

A portrait of the poet...

see I've scripted many poems for women
that will never know those pieces were meant for them,
for the mere fact that they told me I wasn't meant for them ...
but now they keep asking who I wrote them for and
my heart forces my mind to tell them lies
which cover-up the truths stuck within the grains
floating in and out of the shadows of time.

It's easier to trust a lie
than allow your soul to go through the torment
experienced while staring into an abyss,
an abyss you once thought to be the gateways
to a future happily distant from your past.
But the past shows that unless you speak truth into existence...
your indifference, will result in their continued ignorance
to the matters of your heart.

I say fuck the heart
that never did more than break
every-time the mind took the chance
to allow it to make decisions on matters of love.
Because lust may leave you feeling empty
but it's an emptiness that still holds a soul
un-shattered and devoid of the pain felt
by the prickling effects of shards,
which once used to be that very same heart but as a whole.
Man ... I'm talking about, I'm talking about art.

Now new utterances of truth
seem to be plaguing my psyche once again ...
Oh, how I've missed the whisper of these Angels and Demons
that exist within the shadows of my soul,
never allowing me an inch of peace as they battle for
the glory of a win that leaves everything else dead within,
just to claim they won the war in the battlefield of not only OKIN's heart and mind ...
but of his life and everything else held in-between,
which would eventually culminate into something more than the story itself.
Something which would bring out the true essence of every individual stroke
that paints this loveless reality I still deem to be a wondering fantasy...
I'm a hopeless romantic you see...

There's nothing I wish for more than for you to hate me,
because maybe that may last longer than
this ill-fated-twisted dance I keep playing out in my head...
just to know that a shred of my memory might still linger on in your mind,
and just maybe ... you might still think of me
from time to time or that this piece of writing
may make you think of me at least once again.

I've scripted many poems but
held even more back to remain unwritten.
So many poems that will remain unspoken...

— Nikolai Tjongarero

Born and raised in Windhoek, Namibia, Nikolai Tjongarero is a contributor to The Ground's Ear Contemporary Verse from Southern Africa poetry anthology. Nikolai's poems, social commentary and ruminations can be found online at #GetFamiliar where Many Poems first appeared in a slightly different format.

We thank Nikolai for his continuing support of the Bar None Group. Many Poems is Nikolai's tenth contribution to our online anthology since 2011. He is currently studying in China for his MBA and continues to write poetry.

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