Friday, February 3, 2012

Poetry Template

start with the title:
it must be
directly related
to the content
of the Poem -
or not

Then begin the Poem
with a phrase
of tempting ambiguity,
a detail so compelling
that the reader
will follow you
as you pull back
to reveal its unexpected

Continue by making
an arcane allusion
to a 17th century English essayist
or by adding a sly reference
to one of the
lesser known Beats
(nothing from Ginsberg,
Kerouac, Burroughs or
Bukowski, please) -
this will establish
your lit cred
among the cognoscenti.

Include densely worded
passages, overstuffed with
arbitrary and completely insular
to buttress your emerging status
as a solitary, enigmatic genius.

Bring it on home
with an unexpected punchline
that either disorients
or brings a cynical smirk
to the morally ambiguous,
postmodern reader.

Send it out to the same
twelve friends
who always read your work
and always love it.

Repeat as necessary.

 - Buddah Moskowitz

(Buddah Moskowitz writes like the illegitimate love child of Dorothy Parker and Charles Bukowski. Poetry Template is one of the many thought provoking poems from Buddah's I Hate Poetry 2.0: Formatted for Mobile Devices and is posted here with the permission of the author.  Buddah is the editor and creator of, a website where poets phone in their poetry to share with an international audience. Current writings are housed under lock and key at I Hate Poetry.)


  1. Fantastic! Is that all I need to do? I will follow this advice exactly. Oh wait, I don't have 12 friends. I love Mosk's poetry. Funny, accessible, right on point. Bravo!

  2. Excellent observation of pretentious poetry! I don't have twelve friends either!

    Anna :o]

  3. Haha... this is great! I think I know a few who follow this template. Love it.

  4. OMG, this is too funny! Like most of Mosk's work that I've read, this is wonderful! Now, where do I find myself 12 friends who actually read?

  5. Love that you posted this. Who knew there was a "recipe"?


  6. Wait! I AM that solitary, enigmatic genius! Thanks for writing about me! (Although I may have to increase my followers/friends by about 10) Great poem, haha, love it!

  7. I'm sorry, but I prefer to write journal-like diatribes, and I like to do it in one huge long paragraph unblemished by spaces or punctuation or actual poetic images.